I went along with being made to feel like I was really lucky for being granted entry when really I just wanted to tell her to shove it up her bum.
This month, stay at home… or don’t. Whether you want virtual amusements or real-world adventure, we’ve got you covered – plus all the dates your cultural diary needs.
This month, join an art club from your kitchen table, rave it up in your pyjamas and discover major exhibitions from the comfort of your sofa.
We might all be in lockdown but don’t despair; this month London’s coolest activities are available from your living room – from crafts to ceramics and classes to concerts.
This month’s highlights include a multi-sensory sandpit, a chance to get inside the mind of Leonardo da Vinci and a Bauhaus-themed family day.
Get out more this month with open-air theatre, water play at the museum, outdoor cinema and family street parties.
This month’s highlights include secret gardens, colourful pavilions, a rooftop rave and womb-inspired theatre.
This month: light labyrinths, queer spaces, artificial intelligence, edible art, LEGO art, angsty art and a giant moon sculpture.
This month, get mindful with children’s yoga, a wellbeing weekend, thoughtful art workshops and powerful theatre.
You can’t help feeling a little bit like you’ve gatecrashed a toddler birthday party, no matter how nice and friendly the other parents are.