It goes without saying that anywhere where you have to surrender your toddler’s buggy and also they’re not allowed to touch anything is going to be a nightmare.
Garden
It was a not-so-lovely THIRTY-SEVEN DEGREES on the day we visited, which is literally the same temperature as a living person’s insides.
It’s a castle but, I’ll be honest, we were only really here for the playground, which is also a castle.
This month, check out the exhibitions you missed pre-lockdown and make the most of the great outdoors with garden trails, treasure hunts and al fresco art.
They’ve been arranged in a smallish enclosure, almost like a dinosaur zoo, which makes it pretty hard to miss any and also pretty hard to lose any small children you might have with you.
Actually the kids loved it, because why wouldn’t they? No one had tried to sell it to them as a brasserie and member-centric family wellness spa.
Big, bleak, beautiful and very zen, as long as you ignore the whinings of your bored three and a half year old who isn’t putting up with anymore of this “walking in nature” bullshit.
This Tudor-palace-meets-Art-Deco-mansion might look like it’s in the arse end of nowhere (and ok it kind of is), but it’s still only in Zone 4!
This incredible space comprises dipping ponds, a mud kitchen, play houses and loads more, with a large clubhouse-type building at its centre.
The entrance to Grow Wild is through this really cute little door that looks like a treehouse, which just instantly sparks joy.