I went along with being made to feel like I was really lucky for being granted entry when really I just wanted to tell her to shove it up her bum.
Raising tiny Londoners wouldn’t be half as hilarious without all the family-friendly hangouts, independent kids’ shops and tailored-to-tots activities that we’ve all missed like crazy over these last few miserable months.
This month, stay at home… or don’t. Whether you want virtual amusements or real-world adventure, we’ve got you covered – plus all the dates your cultural diary needs.
This month, join an art club from your kitchen table, rave it up in your pyjamas and discover major exhibitions from the comfort of your sofa.
We might all be in lockdown but don’t despair; this month London’s coolest activities are available from your living room – from crafts to ceramics and classes to concerts.
Roma was already properly pushing the top end of the age limit and basically looked like a fully grown woman compared with most of the tiny babies.
Few things scream Christmas like iceskating under a giant pine tree followed by a mug of creamy Bailey’s hot chocolate.
I wanna dance with my kid – and when I say dance I mean wobble around awkwardly trying to avoid eye contact incase someone senses my discomfort.
I really enjoyed the way the adults were utilised, be it as horses or glorified skateboards for the kids to glide around on.
Circus Dreams Families takes place in the same setting as most of my nightmares: a school gym.