Ultimately all you’re going to do is insert a paintbrush in their fist and grit your teeth while they splash paint indiscriminately at the wall.
Underground
The main space resembled an NCT outing to the Bugaboo factory, with piled-up pushchairs, harassed mums and squawking toddlers.
The installation had the same effect on my self esteem as an afternoon spent in the changing rooms at H&M on Oxford Street.
This is a particularly pretty corner of London, home to tranquil woodland, lush lawns, well-kept gardens and peaceful ponds.
The cosy space comprises well-known Scandi stories across the full range of Nordic languages and a variety of traditional toys.
There’s a large shoe department with a squashy sofa for trying on in comfort, with brands including Bobux, Salt-Water and Start-Rite.
Scandi Mini nails that Insta-worthy Nordic aesthetic that most of us can only dream of for our kids’ rooms and wardrobes.
Cool doesn’t really come into the equation when you’re all just trying to get through the morning tantrum-, shit- and injury-free.
I decided we’d go freestyle for the day, abandoning the buggy and letting the erratic slitherer do her worst. What could possibly go wrong?
Sculptural works are displayed on the floor behind foot-high cordons that may as well be labelled ‘baby limbo contest this way’.
bablands.com 